I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
