Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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