I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
