haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
