Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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