Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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