Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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