Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize