I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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