ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize