Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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