I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
