i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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