Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
