went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
