he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
