i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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