they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Send help, water and tortillas.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize