It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
