I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
