i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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