Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
