Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
