I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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