I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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