Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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