dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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