The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
