Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just cropdusted the office
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
