I'm so fucking centered right now
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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