At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
