We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ugly people sure do ruin things
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
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