Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
