drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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