my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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