i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
