We won't sleep together?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
