I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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