They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
