she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
