i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
