Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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