I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
