Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
