he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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