Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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