I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
