My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
