Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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