His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
