That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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