Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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