Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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