I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
