really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize