You're earring is so big in my mouth
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
