I hate your face
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
