Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
