There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize