If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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