I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
