Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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