SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
