Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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