After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a beard to bite.
I am available for nakedness
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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