Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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