so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
